Everything this week besides last night has just been hell. Thanks Brett for last night, even though I hope you never read this. You're such an amazing friend.
Starting with Erik and I's break up Monday, to last night Lanna telling me she doesn't want to room with me next semester... I can't deal.
I can't think anything more than just to think I'm a terrible person.
I love myself, but at this moment in time I'm feeling pretty terrible about my personality.
I told myself last time I wasn't going to let people affect me like that, but I had just finally gotten to the point where I let down some walls. Too soon I'm guessing.
I strip off a lot of wallpaper when I want someone to know the real me, but this time the actual walls had started to fall. Things never move slow enough.
I just wish one person in my life would just be completely honest with me and tell me what I'm doing wrong. If I knew how I hurt people around me that drives them away, I could work on fixing it. I don't ever mean to cause people pain.
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This whole music thing is just the perfectly wrong thing to try to take on right now as well... AUDITIONS!? I've never done one in my life.
Chemistry is still piled up.
It's not Monday... why am I stressing out?
Oh yeah, I have a huge Spanish test tomorrow. Cool.
I feel empty. I feel like it's only going to get worse before it gets better.
I know I'm going to look at this weeks from now and feel ridiculous... but for now, I feel like I have legit reasons to be upset and stressed.
I'm working so hard right now not to take this out on others, and to keep my friendship with Erik. It's about time I grew up and finished my plate on my own. I can do this, it's just a very steep hill, and I keep slipping.
