I'm IN!

It's so refreshing to be a part of SAI officially now! I'm a sister, and I have a whole lot of them! I love them all in their own weird ways...
I have never had the feeling until now that even when the whole world is crashing in and everything seems to be going in opposite, confusing directions... it will be okay because I have all these girls who are here to love me, support me, and give me confidence. I don't know how I got so lucky to get Tatiana as a big sister. I feel like even if we weren't big & little, we would still be best friends. Not only do we have so much in common; hardworking, clean, silly, black-men loving, aqua & purple, motivators...but also she's just so helpful and supportive. I love her very much.

I need to write a paper now.. I just wanted to remember this happy night during DEAD WEEK! It's been a rough one, but ending quite nicely!
<3

Feeling odd...

It's just one of those days where it feels like the world is spinning off it's axis.
It's been quite a good day, and I'm not my normal "jumping for joy" self. I don't like it very much. Actually today rocked. No theory, pretend keyboarding class that turned into a private lesson, no symphonic band, and the library now carrying Seattle's Best Coffee... hello!? WAKE UP and smell the greatness of today...I also get to sing with my SAI future sisters tonight for our campus wide American Idol kind of thing, where we are the special guest performers for the end of the show.
I feel so out of it.
I think that I am just stressed and tired. I hope.
I remember feeling like today for a whole three months in high school... just uninterested in everything. I don't see how that could ever happen here, but I don't like this feeling.
I know the next time I look at this entry I might consider myself a little crazy, but right now I'm feeling that way.
Okay, I'm spacing out too much to write more.
Time to drink coffee and get focused.

SAI

Can I even begin to pretend to express how amazing my MITing of SAI is going? AMAZING!
These girls make me feel warm inside. These girls, they're real. Real loving, kind, understanding, helpful, funny, happy, amazing people. I've never felt so loved in my life.
I know it's because everyone wants to make us feel great about becoming their sisters, but still. I can see myself 20-30 years down the line laughing and chatting away with these girls.
Amanda W. is the bomb. She's always there for me. She's hilarious. She is very patient with me and these stupid passwords. hahah. She even bakes me cakes and plays in the leaves with me! Tonight we are coloring!
Katie Ruth gives the best hugs ever... awkwardly long, as we say, but neither of us find them awkward at all.- She's my Auntie!
Caroline W. is just the person I strive to be! She's so free-spirited, positive, and motivated. She is a hard worker, is honest, and isn't afraid to embrace her nerdiness.
Brianna loves owls, therefore, I love her... because I love owls.
My big, Tatiana R., is the best. I think a lot of the time she underestimates how great she really is, and sometimes that makes things weird between us. I let her know how much I love her though. :) Partying with her last weekend probably had to be the best yet of this semester. I also look up her a lot. She's so focused and hardworking on her music. She's going to be a great teacher.
Katie P. is my grand-big-sis. She's sooooo funny. I love how honest, and genuine(as she told me I was) she is. Oh yes, she is adorable as well.
I love others as well, but these are the people I'm around most. I'll post about others soon.

MY BROTHER CAME HOME, LIKE FOR GOOD, LAST NIGHT! I can't wait to see him on Friday!!!!!! It's been about two years since I've seen him,and it's been FAR too long!

Government homework, and then coloring... over and out.
<3

SAI- It's for life!

Two Sunday's ago I got a bid for SAI (Sigma Alpha Iota), the professional women's music fraternity. I am so very excited to be a part of their sisterhood... These girls are AWESOME! So kind, smart, talented, and hilarious. My roommate Madeline is one of these girls as well.
This past Sunday, I got my Big Sis! Her name is Tatiana, and she's a percussion major. I am so glad she is my big... she's pretty much a B.A( badass, not bachelor of arts) , and in a lot of ways, kind of like a twin to me. She got me a whole lot of fun stuff, including silly-band rings and skittles(YES), and she's been helping me with theory a bunch this week! Tonight she has a concert, including a solo or two, and I'm going to bring her roses (SAI's flower). I feel like a nerdy tween writing this blog entry, but it's a whole lot of fun which I can't even explain..no seriously, it's secret stuff. ;)
Music is taking over my life, and you know what, I'm not complaining. I love it.
I think I probably wrote that same thing in my last blog post, but it still stands true. I'm working very hard to get better, and become a well-rounded musician.
SO HAPPY!
Anyways, I need to send out some e-mails, go get some free coffee thanks to my old boss from last year, and get to studying.
PEACE OUT!

Throughout the day,
the blue skies make perfect sense,
but when I lay down to sleep,
the world won't stop spinning.

I wish I had some brain windshield wipers,
to clear foggy late night thoughts,
Make a path through the clearing.

You aren't the only one I see,
It's not supposed to be you and me.
You still pull at my heart,
Even though these are broken strings.

Throughout the day,
the blue skies make perfect sense,
but when I lay down to sleep,
the world won't stop spinning.

This hurricane is preaching,
Nothing more than words that will never be said.
I watched for you out the window,
but rain came instead.

Looking through the clouds,
Sun guiding,
I let go of your hand.
I let my arms up in the air, and embraced it.

Throughout the day,
the blue skies make perfect sense,
but when I lay down to sleep,
the world won't stop spinning.

The world won't stop spinning, spinning, spinning.

Short and Sweet.

So instead of writing my Spanish composition, I'm sitting here blogging for the first time this semester. Brr, the goosebumps on my legs are telling me I need to re-locate to a new spot.
Anyways,
First semester of sophomore year, oh my. It's quite an adventure, and an amazing one at that.
Music. It's a life to live, it's a major/minor that will kill you. I'm seriously loving every moment of it, well besides Ms. Brown, and I've never felt so busy in my entire life.
I am so lucky to have so many friends in the dept. to help out and also make it more enjoyable.
,
This whole, "Michael" thing still sticks out in my mind on days when I see him, or see his Phi-Mu-Alpha brothers, but sitting with my friend Allyson, who was broken up with about 3 weeks ago, today I had another one of my self-revelations.
- There's nothing I can do about what happened, more than just appreciate it for what it was. Accepting the fact that hopefully someday the both of us will find others who make us truly happy is necessary. There's no point of being jealous, because
1. it will not change anything, but maybe the chance of friendship that is possible.
2. It's not worth my time because if it was meant to be, there would be no competition; I would be a diamond compared to coal(the other girl).
So what's the verdict? I'm going to continue being happy, because I have been, and be happy for Michael and the girl as well.

Back to my paper... later.

Two Long Crazy Months Later(+1 Day)

Oh life...
Sometimes I wish that for every time I said that my mind took a polaroid picture; I feel like it would be a very interesting album.

I could start off this entry very generically saying about how I dated someone, liked them, and then got heartbroken. I'll save that for later. I've started to truly understand that there are so many more great focus's.

The end of my Freshman year of college was purely amazing. Madeline and I became best friends, for real this time. Between hanging out and somehow getting homework done to successfully going to the gym a lot, she and I found out how simply great we can be for each other. That sounded a little love-letterish, but seriously, I don't regret it because I do honestly LOVE my friends. My sister often expresses her opinion of people using the word "love" too freely, and I know I'm a little guilty of it, but when I think about it, I talk a lot about loving people I genuinely couldn't live without. People who I want to be in my life forever.
I can count these people probably on one hand, but that's the amazing thing about friends as you grow up. It's a lot more about quality rather than quantity.
Growing up I did feel like at times I had a great number of friends. People who I might have shared some pretty fun times with, laughed, sang, and flirted with. Other times in my life, I felt dull because I didn't have so many friends. The reality of it all was that I've always had at least a few TRUE friends.
I am independent, but these people, who support me who support me day in and day out, I'm not sure if I can honestly say I could do this all without them.

During the school year it's a lot to keep up with old friends back home. Patience is something that you must hold tightly to keep relationships in tact. Sometimes it's not about if the other person doesn't have time for you, or if they plainly are just caught up in the new aspects of their lives. Sometimes it's about how to stay friends, you also have to know how to stay apart. Sometimes you just have to let them be themselves and THEN let their new selves be themselves with you. This idea also has a great impact on dating relationships.
My sister told me a few weeks ago this saying that sticks in the front of my mind everyday. It helps me not only have so much tolerance, but even more acceptance than I had before; " As long as you are yourself, no matter where you are, no matter who you are with, I will respect you." - It's such a simple saying, but if you take a deeper look into it, you might realize that it's something that people commonly forget to do. We put on an act to appease people. We try hard because we want to succeed. We want to love, and be loved; It's all pretty common. But for a person to achieve any of this on a true, genuine level, they have to understand that they just have to show who they are when no one is looking. Maybe your pig-snort-laugh isn't the most attractive, but you wouldn't hold back if it was you and just your family, why with anyone else.
The end of the semester was filled with so much rushing, panicking, productiveness, laziness, late night laughing, and partying. I loved every moment of it. Well, besides maybe those last few chapters of Chemistry, and having to leave Murray. I ended up having pretty decent grades, which made my mom happy as ever. Plus, I felt a little less guilty for all the money I'm spending on taking those classes.
Goodbyes were welcomed by happy faces at home though. Let's just say my summer started off with some hookah and a drag show; I could only imagine what was to happen next.
(Here comes the stupid boy story, skip ahead about half a centimeter on the scroll-bar)

And then I started dating Michael. It was a short honeymoon-phase only relationship, but it was good. I wouldn't take it back for the moon. I saw so much about myself through dating him. I learned how to effectively communicate and not be afraid of how my words might affect what might come next. I experienced how it felt to have a balanced amount of effort and feeling. I learned how girls should be treated by their boyfriends, but also how exhausting it can be on the boyfriend. I met an amazing person and I am going to make an effort to keep him in my life, because he is a great friend nevertheless. So after the whole break-up deal, I was sad. I was a little heart-broken if you could call it that, but it was different. For once in my life, I truly felt good just being me. I can see myself for my imperfections, but I am also not blinded to those things that are great that I used to see as weaknesses.
I'm really an attention needer. I seek people out who will give it to me. Sometimes people want to be wanted, needed. I give people my whole attention as well. I treat my friends like I would my children; wanting to help make them happier or easier in any way possible that I can help. Sometimes I do commit a lot of myself, but the phrase "too much" doesn't exist in my mind anymore. You know, in a lot of ways "too much" has escaped my vocab. I used to "love too much", now I just see it as a blessing that I "love SO much" and yes "think too much" used to be up there too, but I have realized that "thinking SO much" is just who I am. I am Kathryn Theresa Reinhardt. Yes, my middle name is spelled with an "h" in it and I'm quite a wisher.
Some people might think wishing counts as one of those "too" phrases for me as well, but "so" works better in my book.
Maybe I'll write soon, but for now I need to rest up for an early inservice in the morning. Until next time..